


Kira Must Die - TJ's Revenge

by Ailodierap



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Another spontaneous story, Gay, Get Together, Humor, I just watched 3x13 and FFFFFUUUUU, Kira is evil, M/M, Parody, Tyrus rights, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailodierap/pseuds/Ailodierap
Summary: Kira Must Die.A rage-and-angst-fuelled parody to get my newfound distaste for Kira out of my system.Or, Kira attempts to manipulate TJ into doing a couples costume with her. TJ has other ideas.





	Kira Must Die - TJ's Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is a joke btw. Just getting that out there. Hopefully it will put a smile on your faces after the horror show that was 3x13.

"So you'd rather do a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that." Kira smirked before getting up and walking away.

TJ watched her go, his expression one of concern. Not concern for himself. Not concern for Cyrus. No, TJ was concerned for Kira. More specifically, he was concerned for how he would deal with her hetero ass.

"...the fuck does this bitch think she is? I'll show her what it means to stand between me and my beautiful muffin!" TJ exclaimed, too busy scheming his revenge plot to even consider the innuendo he had just dropped.

\---A little while later---

"Hey, Cyrus!" TJ called after his favorite Jewish boi.

Cyrus turned around and smiled widely. "Hey, Teej!" He ran over to the taller boy.

"So... we have a problem." TJ started as he began walking alongside Cyrus.

"Oh? What kind of problem?" Cyrus raised an eyebrow.

TJ took in a deep breath and braced himself. "The hetero drama kind."

Cyrus stopped in his tracks, gasping in shock. "No!"

"Yes!" TJ repeated with a nod.

"W-what do we do?" Cyrus stammered nervously.

TJ grabbed him by the shoulders reassuringly. "We are going to take that bitch down."

Cyrus let out a shaky breath and finally nodded. "Okay. Okay, we can do this." He smiled.

"Exactly. So, here's the plan..." TJ began to explain as the two walked off again, TJ's arm drooped over Cyrus' shoulders.

\---Costume Day---

TJ looked himself up and down in the mirror, eyeing his 'Dribble' shirt in disgust as he adjusted his clothes for comfort.

"You can do this, TJ." He reassured himself as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a message from Cyrus.

Cyrus: Are you ready for this?

TJ: As ready as I'll ever be.

Cyrus: It's not too late to back out.

TJ: We have to do this. We have to show the hets that they can't stand in our way once and for all.

Cyrus: Let's do it then. Operation Kira Must Die is a-go!

\---At school---

TJ ran up to Kira nervously, feeling uncomfortable in his 'Dribble' shirt.

"Hey." He greeted her.

She turned and beamed at him. "Oh, hey!" She replied, pulling him into a hug. "I'm so glad you saw the light after all!"

TJ clenched his fists in his pockets. "Yep, I don't know what I was thinking before..." He chuckled half-heartedly.

Kira pulled one of his arms out of his pocket and linked arms with him. "Now, let's go own this costume day!" She exclaimed, pulling him towards the entrance to the school.

As they were about to head inside, they heard an all-too-familiar voice call out. "TJ!"

TJ and Kira turned to see Cyrus running over, dressed head-to-toe like a salt shaker. Kira suppressed a laugh at his ridiculous costume.

"Where are your board shorts and sunglasses?" Cyrus asked in confusion.

"Oh man..." TJ sighed, "...I'm sorry, I forgot to text you, I had a last minute change of plans."

Kira smirked as Cyrus' beautiful smile faded into a frown. "Didn't he tell you? We're matching costumes now. See?" She smiled fakely, opening her jacket to reveal her Dribble shirt and prompting TJ to do the same.

Suddenly, TJ started to laugh to himself. Kira turned to him in confusion. "What is it, Teej?" She asked, enjoying the sight of Cyrus flinching at her use of the nickname.

"I wasn't talking to Cyrus." He revealed, an intense homosexual glare fixed on his face.

"W-what?" Kira stammered, bewildered.

"You really think you could steal my citrus-y boi away from me?" Cyrus chuckled as he and TJ circled her like a pack of gay wolves.

"This?" TJ said, gesturing to his Dribble shirt, "This isn't me." And with that, he pulled at the shirt and ripped it in half, revealing a floral, summery button-down shirt underneath.

Kira backed away in shock as TJ ripped away his jeans to reveal a pair of beige board shorts. She scowled as Cyrus pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses to compliment his costume.

"TJ was never going to match with your straight ass." Cyrus revealed. "We planned this from the very beginning."

"No!" Kira yelled angrily.

"Oh yes." Cyrus retaliated. "We're done taking a backseat to your hetero nonsense. This town is ours now, bitch. Shadyside? More like GAYdyside. Am I right?"

The circle of onlookers which had gathered around chuckled in amusement as TJ and Cyrus high-fived.

"B-but... TJ you can't!" Kira cried, "You promised to match with me! I'll be humiliated in front of the entire school! Why would you want to match with a stupid SALT SHAKER instead of me?!"

"That's the least of your problems, Kira." TJ said, reaching to take his sunglasses from Cyrus. "What's the matter..." He placed the sunglasses confidently on his face, "...salty?"

The crowd burst into screams and cheers at TJ's sick burn as Kira stumbled backwards in defeat.

"This one is on behalf of all the oppressed gays that came before us." TJ declared triumphantly, slowly advancing towards Kira. "Take this!" He cried.

With that, he ran over and drop-kicked Kira in the face, the force of the attack launching her into the sky. "Nnnnooooooooooooooooooo!" She screamed as she flew off into the distance.

The crowd erupted into applause as Cyrus ran over and pulled TJ up, wrapping his arms around the taller boy's neck.

"TJ, I was so dumb before, I was too scared to tell you how I feel. TJ, I love you." Cyrus admitted.

"Cyrus, you're the best thing that has ever happened, both to me and to this show." TJ smiled back, wrapping his arms around Cyrus' waist and pulling him closer.

"I think we both deserve the credit for that one." Cyrus smiled, finally pulling TJ in for their long-awaited first kiss.

Gus emerged from the circle of onlookers. "FINALLY!" He cried in victory. "TYRUS! TYRUS! TYRUS!" He began to chant, the rest of the crowd quickly joining in.

"Now," TJ spoke up, reaching to hold Cyrus' hand, "Let's go take the best couple's photo ever."

Cyrus nodded. "You betcha, boyfriend."

And they all lived Happily Ever After, except for Kira who had to move to Greenland for no apparent reason so that her hetero ass could never annoy anyone ever again.

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I must stress, THIS IS A PARODY!! I'm sure Kira will be redeemed but I just had to get this out of my system lmao


End file.
